Congratulations to The Legend of the Buzz Was Way Hard Core
(Keith Hudson, Jason Schwengler and Brian Hight) who went undefeated through
both a round robin and the double elimination playoffs to become the champions
of F.O.G.H.A.T. 2003: In the Mood For Something Rude, the trash tournament held
at Missouri-Rolla on October 19th.
Along with the
traditional awarding of the FOG Hats, the champions won a copy of Bill
O'Reilly's novel, Those Who Trespass and some lovely
framed quotes from O'Reilly's novel that would make Ludacris blush. Keith
was the tournament's leading scorer with a 41.3 PPG in the round robin and he
received a Foghat necklace (thanks ebay) and a copy of Bjork's greatest hits CD
that when played instead sounds a lot like Eric Clapton's last live album.
Second place went to
The Unnamed Crewmen in Red Shirts (Wichita State St alums) who each won a hard
core rap CD and collectively won "Be a Man", the new CD by the
hardest core rapper ever, Randy Savage.
Third place was When You Masturbate Alone, You're Masturbating With
Hitler (Wash U) who won a Pez survival kit and decks of Iraqi leader playing
cards. Fourth place was Alcoholics Synonymous (Tulsa) who won a DVD copy of The
Legend of Boggy Creek, two Twin Peaks travelogues and two novelizations of
Forbidden Planet. Fifth place, Missouri-Rolla B (Rolla ACO members and special
guest Delano Barnes) won a sexy prize package consisting of a set of Austin
Powers
coasters and 2003 lawn
mower calendars (the August model had quite a set of wheels).
Wash U blocked two punted bonuses to win the punt blocking
trophy, which was a Headliner figurine of someone I wanted to punt several
times during his Kansas City Chiefs tenure, Elvis Grbac. The top 10 individual
scorers won CDs or books like The
Ethics of Star Trek or
The Treasury of White Trash Cooking.
Full round robin and
playoff records are listed below as well as the round robin scoring results.
Round Robin
1. The Legend of the
Buzz Was Way Hard Core 8-0
2. Alcoholics
Synonymous (Tulsa) 7-1
3. The Unnamed Crewmen
in Red Shirts (Wich St Alums) 5-3
4. When You Masturbate
Alone, You're Masturbating with Hitler 5-3
5. Missouri-Rolla B
(UMR + Delano) 4-4
6. Mexican'ts (Oklahoma
A) 3-5
7. Evil Robot Usses
(Oklahoma B) 2-6
8. Freshmen's Wrath
(Oklahoma C) 1-7
9. It's All Pink on the
Inside (Missouri-Rolla) 1-7
(Ties in record were
both broken by head-to-head)
Playoffs
Round 1
Legend 325, Hitler 75
Unnamed 340, Alcoholics
40
Round 2
Hitler 205, Alchoholics
195
Legend 350, Unnamed 115
Round 3
Unnamed 315, Hitler 140
Finals
Legend 440, Unnamed 130
Round Robin Individual
Scoring
Rank Name, Team TU I
PPG
1. Keith Hudson, Legend
34 2 41.3
2. Crewman 69, Unnamed
33 3 39.4
3. Mr. Slave, Hitler 30
5 34.4
4. Captain Morgan,
Alcoholics 26 6 28.8
5. Jose, Mexican'ts 24
3 28.8
6. Undercover Brother
24 3 28.1
Jefe, Mexican'ts 25 5
28.1
Jason, Legend 26 7 28.1
Brian, Legend 25 5 28.1
10. Bill, Pink 22 4
25.0
11. Matt, Hitler 22 5 24.4
12. Jean-Phillippe,
Mexican'ts 23 8 23.8
13. Super, Rolla B 19 3
21.9
14. Andrew, Freshmen's
Wrath 18 1 21.9
15. Eva Braun, Hitler
10 0 16.7
16. Sidewinder Bill,
Evil 15 5 16.3
17. Jack Daniels,
Alcoholics 14 3 15.6
18. Copperhead
Deathbot, Evil 13 4 13.8
19. Paco, Mexican'ts 11
0 13.8
20. Crewman 3, Unnamed
13 4 13.8
21. Crewman 6, Unnamed
10 0 12.5
22. Crewman 42, Unnamed
9 1 10.6
23. John, Wrath 9 1
10.6
24. B'ville, Pink 10 5
9.4
25. Pancho, Mexican'ts
8 2 8.8
26. California Mountain
Snake, Evil 8 4 7.5
27. Chops, Pink 2 0 6.7
28. Forbis, Pink 5 2
5.0
29. Matthew, Freshman's
Wrath 4 0 5.0
30. Tracy, Rolla B 4 1
4.4
31. Frieda, Hitler 3 2
3.3
32. Black Mamba Station
Bot 1 0 1.3
33. Jim, Alcoholics 1 0
1.3
34. Quinn, Hitler 1 2
0.0